Why I’m Grateful To The Thief Who Stole My Phone

I was happily wandering down a London street yesterday evening.  The air was warm, people were enlivened at the hint that spring was finally here, and I’d just come from an enriching and energising dinner with dear friends.

I was in the middle texting my mum who was looking after my daughter for me, confirming what time I’d be home, and then SWOOP!!!  My phone was lifted out of my hands without so much of a sound or a hint of a breeze, and off it sped into the distance in the clutches of a very adept, skilful, and actually very gentle thief.

It was such a shock, and it was so quick, and at the same time it happened in slow motion.  My brain took several seconds to catch on to what had happened.  By the time it did, he was long gone, certainly far away enough not to hear the disgusting profanity that left my mouth rather unnervingly easily!  (hey I’m still human)

What followed inside of me was fascinating to witness.  I had two very coherent, and yet completely opposing narratives jostling for the role of leading me through this experience.

Narrative #1:

“oh F*CK!  This cannot be happening, what a **** he is, what a **** I am for letting that happen.  F*CK F*CK F*CK this is a nightmare, this is awful, I wish this wasn’t happening.  My phone is unlocked and in the hands of a thief.  There’s a photo of my driver’s licence in my photo library, my social media is accessible, my identity is going to be stolen, my online banking compromised.  F**********CK!!”

Narrative #2:

 “ooh exciting!  Now isn’t this interesting.  This is quite the detour to the journey home that I expected.  I wonder where this adventure will lead me.  I wonder who I’ll meet along the way as I try to find my way back into contact with loved ones, my bank, and my phone provider.  I wonder what this situation has been created for.  It’s here to show me something, or give me something, or both.  OK, take a deep breath, surrender, and let’s set off and see what happens.”

I’d love to tell you that I immediately chose the second one, but of course I didn’t – or rather, I couldn’t, not straightaway.  I did hold onto it firmly though.  I gave it its rightful place and called on it when narrative #1 got too loud.

By the time I’d got through the underground and on my train home I was curiouser still, narrative #2 appeared to be winning.  I diligently walked most of the length of the train eyeing up who I thought would be the best person to ask for help.  I arrived at a very calm, kind looking gentleman and told him my story.

 He was great.  He got his laptop out and showed me how to remote erase all my data and disable my phone (I didn’t even know that was a thing), got me set up on the right website to report the crime, and reassured me that the thief was almost certainly completely uninterested in stealing my identity and that all he wanted was the handset.  That might have been the longest exhale I’d done in over an hour and it felt amazing.

Turns out he’s the Director of Technology for a major media company and was the absolute perfect person to turn to for help.  We chatted all the way home about his role, the culture of his organisation, how he leads, what works and what doesn’t, heck he even showed me his engagement scores (which he was apparently reviewing when I appeared).

He’s a really great leader according to his team – and doesn’t the world need those right now.  I learned a lot from him, teachings that will enrich my own business, and am very grateful to him for that.

I learned a lot from myself that evening too.  Holding true and then choosing narrative #2 enabled me to surrender and actually feel grateful for what was happening.

When I was able to see it as a gift, I was able to love it.  Not only did that make the whole experience less painful and scary, but it also allowed me to stay present, to open my eyes, to make thoughtful choices rather than panicked decisions about who to speak to.

We talk a lot in Neema about motivating forces.  This is another glorious example.

Narrative #1 was pure FEAR.  And we cannot create or problem solve through fear, we just can’t.

Narrative #2 was LOVE.  And from that came connection, the help I needed, and gratitude.

So, to the adept, skilful and gentle thief – thank you for creating the conditions for me to be able to choose love again.  What a gift.  I hope you got what you needed from me, I definitely got what I needed from you.  Go well.  Stay gentle.  Love, Katharine xx